Monday, March 16, 2009

The Smart Pirate Shares With His Crew

The Coastal Post - September, 1995

In days of old, when a buccaneer captain hoisted his Jolly Roger flag and swooped in on a hapless treasure galleon, the crew was looking for something more than just the lust of spilling blood. The crew got a cut of the booty, a share of the plunder. If they didn't, it wasn't long before the captain was "demoted" and a mate with a more liberal social conscience replaced the deep-sixed captain. A happy crew is a loyal crew.

In the 1840s, while the perversion of French social upheaval boiled all around him, a young man named Fredric Bastiat wrote of this phenomenon. Bastiat's observations became the consummate description of the psychology of socialism. That Bastiat, speaking and writing with such clarity and courage, survived this insanity unscathed is persuasive evidence for the existence of guardian angels. (However, he sadly died of tuberculosis in his early forties.) But even more remarkable is the survival of his penmanship. What Darwin's insights did to natural science, Bastiat's observations can do for individual freedom.

It is this simple: If one is not punished for the act, it is easier for one to steal something than it is for one to earn the money to buy the same object.

Recognizing this, behavioral rules called "laws" were instituted in societies. It became illegal to steal. Stealing was against the law and was severely punished. Plunder was illegal. The majority of people in a culture, supported by the preponderance of their combined force of arms (even if it was a million pitchforks), declared that the thieves would be punished and the productive folk would be allowed to enjoy the fruits of their labors. This doesn't require a Ph.D. in economics to understand. Most six-year-olds have a clearly-defined concept of "mine" and "yours."

So, the law, the behavioral code, protected private property and punished thievery. Sounds like simple common sense, doesn't it? In fact, it is completely logical. Anything else spells the eventual collapse of a civilization. Here's how that can happen:

Farmer Jones grew his watermelons with confidence that the rest of the citizenry would not steal his crop after he had done all the work. A small minority of people looked enviously at the farmer. They didn't want to give him money for his watermelons. They snatched his melons at night, figuring that he wouldn't miss just a few of them and stealing them was easier than growing them. Eventually, other folks saw the nervy thieves eating free watermelon and a certain number of them also began sneaking into the watermelon patch, reasoning: "Why should those chosen few enjoy free watermelon? I deserve free watermelon. I'm as good as the next man. And besides, Farmer Jones has so many watermelons that he won't miss a few more."

Farmer Jones complained to the authorities. "Enforce the law against theft!" he demanded. So the police moved in, set up midnight ambushes, and caught some (but not all) of the watermelon thieves. This stopped the theft for awhile. But eventually the unpunished, but more cautious, thieves started talking amongst themselves. "Damn! I miss all that free watermelon! They cost two bucks apiece now. Farmer Jones is getting rich! We have to do something to provide us with free watermelon again. We deserve free watermelon!"

Another thief pondered this for a moment. "Hey! I'll bet we could sell the masses on the idea that everybody deserves free watermelon! Yeah! Look, why don't we just get a law passed that makes free watermelon a "human right"...or a "civil right?" I'll bet we can get a majority of people to support the creation of legislation that makes free watermelon the law of the land!"

So out went the thieves to stir up the masses. They mounted voter registration drives, and enlisted the oratorical skills of the Reverend Jesse Jivesome, who was a mate with a more liberal social conscience (see first paragraph above). The Free Watermelon Party swept into power in the next election. Not long after, Farmer Jones watched as everybody flocked to his watermelon patch in broad daylight and cleared out the entire field! Farmer Jones (who hadn't been paying attention to the election campaign rhetoric because he was too busy fertilizing, weeding and irrigating this fields) went to the police in a rage. "Why didn't you protect me from those thieves?" he cried. The police just shrugged their shoulders. "The law says that everybody gets free watermelon. We were just enforcing the law by allowing them to go on in and get the free watermelons. In fact, if you ever try to stop them, it will be you who gets arrested."

Farmer Jones abandoned his farm and moved away. "I can't live in a country where stealing has become legal!" he muttered. The next year nobody grew any watermelons and the thieves wondered what to do. Then one of them got a great idea. "Let's have the government grow the free watermelons that we all deserve!"

The administrators in government (the pirate crew, as described above), now headed by the President Reverend Jesse Jivesome, thought his was a good idea. But the government administrators soon realized that growing free watermelons can't actually be done for free. (Duh!) So the government taxed the masses to provide for the expense of providing free watermelon. Someone pointed out that this scheme provided watermelons that weren't really free. But most of the people didn't understand this and continued on, paying more and more taxes to the inefficient free watermelon providers. But they were soothed by the lovely prospect of a continuing supply of "free" watermelon.

And then, one day, someone came up with the idea that eggs and milk, and houses, and medical care, and education should also be free. The government reminded these people that it would take more tax money to provide these free things. Well, the people still didn't see the connection, because they were getting what they felt they deserved. And, because they had legalized thievery, maybe they were.